A few weeks ago, a couple of my friends and I had gone to the toy store to buy a birthday gift for a mutual friend's five-year-old. The toy store was so full of colourful games, dolls, kiddie gadgets and stuffed animals galore, that we knew we could not decide by just looking around by ourselves and needed assistance. We asked the sales assistant to show us some toys for a five-year-old.The first question she asked was " Is it for a boy or a girl?"
After we told that it was for a girl, she led us to an isle that was full of barbie dolls, trinkets and stuffed animals mostly in floral and different shades of pink. "Ding!" a bell sounded in my head and I smiled inwardly and shook it off.
After browsing through these for a while, I asked her if she could show us any other games besides dolls and stuffed animals that are suitable for a five-year-old. Out came the glitter and jewel craft sets, kitchen sets and a whole array of the barbie doll household set along with a few other similar items."Ding !"
I wanted to give the kid something different than the usual, something that she would enjoy as well as learn something from.While my friends were deciding whether to buy the stuffed teddy or the Cinderella barbie, I decided to browse a little more. After searching for a bit I was able to find some interesting games and puzzle sets that I thought she would enjoy and decided to buy them. When I returned to my friends I found out that they had a dilemma of their own. They seemed to like a stuffed bear , but it was only available in blue.
"But Blue is a boy's colour. Don't you have it in pink?" I heard my friend asking the salesman.
"Ding!!, Ding!!" the bell in my head, recognising gender stereotyping went off yet again.
"What? " my friend asked looking annoyed at my smirking. I eventually convinced her to buy the blue teddy bear without giving her a speech on gender stereotyping. I have learned in the past that using such terms seems to have a reverse effect on some people. Especially the older generation who label you as a feminist / man hater etc. Not that it is their total fault. They have just been brought up in that environment. That is why it is important to instill these values in a child right from the beginning.
Gender stereotyping is present everywhere in our society. We ourselves may have done that without even thinking. Even I have done so in the past . May it be with respect to someone else or with our own selves.
How many times have I wondered "Should I cut my hair shorter? and then given up thinking that it would make me look more boyish. How many times have I giggled or wondered in amazement, when I saw a guy wearing something in pink and totally pulling it off? These little seeds often turn out to become bigger as we grow up and evolve to be a member of this society.
There are gender stereotypes at every step. Right from the child is born, well into the prime of their lives. It starts right from the colour/shade of the clothes you put on the baby ,the piercing of the girl child's ear (in some places), to the length of hair of the child. And when this kid grows up, he/she is fed on the nutrition of more and more gender stereotypes regarding male and female roles in the household. How often do you see a child run to his/her mother if they have a stain on their clothes or when they spill something on them? Even the advertisements show this most of the times. It is never the father who takes care of the situation or does the laundry or other household chores. That is because these are the predefined roles that everyone is used to. Hence, it is very important to nip the gender bias in its bud and that starts right when the kids are young.
Here are a few ways in which you can raise the next generation with the right values of gender equality in the household, and leave no scope for gender stereotypes.
1) Equality in household chores:
The child should be shown that household chores are a responsibility of both the genders and not only of the woman. A child brought up watching both parents equally participate in household tasks like the laundry would grow up to an adult who is also a willing participant in the household responsibility, rather than a child who is used to his mother or sister doing all the household work.Children should be encouraged to share the household chores with their siblings and parents irrespective of their genders.
2)Talking to kids about what they see on TV or other media:
We should check what the kids are watching and tell them what is wrong and right in the way both genders are represented on TV. They should be made aware of what is acceptable behaviour and what is gender stereotyping or discrimination. Often we see that programs we watch on television objectify women or put them in the stereotypical roles of the perfect Wife,daughter in law etc. We have to teach our children that people are more than what is portrayed on TV.
3) Stop using gender as an excuse for behaviour: We often hear the phrases "Boys will be boys!" or "Boys don't cry" or "Its a girl thing!". We often use these to justify certain characteristics or behavior by both genders. We have to stop doing that. Being of a certain gender doesnot have anything to do with the behavior. It differs from person to person.
4) They should be introduced to influential people of both genders:
We often see that young boys and girls seem to select role models of their own We would find boys saying they want to grow up to become like Sachin Tendulkar or Shahrukh Khan and girls often say they want to become like Mother Teresa or Sunita Williams.
But they should be introduced to different influential people from all facets of careers and lifestyles, so one day a boy could say that he wants to be a human like 'Mother Teresa' or a girl can say that she wants to be a famous businesswoman of the likes of Ambani.
While we should strive to ingrain the seed of gender equality in children right from the beginning, we must accept that there will be some things that are inherently different in girls and boys : Raising kids in a gender neutral environment does not mean that boys should be persuaded to participate in so-called "girly activities" or girls be persuaded to be a "tomboy" . These terms right here: 'girlish' and 'tomboy' tell us how gender roles have been defined in the society right from the beginning. These words have been in the dictionary right since the time humans decided that the one wearing the pants is the man and the other is a woman. Any girl differing from these norms of feminine behavior was termed a tomboy or boy who did not conform to the societies standards of masculine behavior was termed to be girlish.
It is absolutely OK to let boys have their thing and girls have theirs because it will not detract from gender equality. Gender neutrality is more about having the same opportunities, same responsibilities and same respect in society irrespective of the physical differences.
What is important is that they know that when it is time to choose what they want to be and how they want to live their life, they should not have any regrets on lost opportunities due to their gender or because they feel they are superior or inferior in any way. Let's teach the future generation that striving for Equality is not just among races/castes or statuses that are made by humans but also important for both the genders and a bright future.
After we told that it was for a girl, she led us to an isle that was full of barbie dolls, trinkets and stuffed animals mostly in floral and different shades of pink. "Ding!" a bell sounded in my head and I smiled inwardly and shook it off.
After browsing through these for a while, I asked her if she could show us any other games besides dolls and stuffed animals that are suitable for a five-year-old. Out came the glitter and jewel craft sets, kitchen sets and a whole array of the barbie doll household set along with a few other similar items."Ding !"
I wanted to give the kid something different than the usual, something that she would enjoy as well as learn something from.While my friends were deciding whether to buy the stuffed teddy or the Cinderella barbie, I decided to browse a little more. After searching for a bit I was able to find some interesting games and puzzle sets that I thought she would enjoy and decided to buy them. When I returned to my friends I found out that they had a dilemma of their own. They seemed to like a stuffed bear , but it was only available in blue.
"But Blue is a boy's colour. Don't you have it in pink?" I heard my friend asking the salesman.
"Ding!!, Ding!!" the bell in my head, recognising gender stereotyping went off yet again.
"What? " my friend asked looking annoyed at my smirking. I eventually convinced her to buy the blue teddy bear without giving her a speech on gender stereotyping. I have learned in the past that using such terms seems to have a reverse effect on some people. Especially the older generation who label you as a feminist / man hater etc. Not that it is their total fault. They have just been brought up in that environment. That is why it is important to instill these values in a child right from the beginning.
Gender stereotyping is present everywhere in our society. We ourselves may have done that without even thinking. Even I have done so in the past . May it be with respect to someone else or with our own selves.
How many times have I wondered "Should I cut my hair shorter? and then given up thinking that it would make me look more boyish. How many times have I giggled or wondered in amazement, when I saw a guy wearing something in pink and totally pulling it off? These little seeds often turn out to become bigger as we grow up and evolve to be a member of this society.
There are gender stereotypes at every step. Right from the child is born, well into the prime of their lives. It starts right from the colour/shade of the clothes you put on the baby ,the piercing of the girl child's ear (in some places), to the length of hair of the child. And when this kid grows up, he/she is fed on the nutrition of more and more gender stereotypes regarding male and female roles in the household. How often do you see a child run to his/her mother if they have a stain on their clothes or when they spill something on them? Even the advertisements show this most of the times. It is never the father who takes care of the situation or does the laundry or other household chores. That is because these are the predefined roles that everyone is used to. Hence, it is very important to nip the gender bias in its bud and that starts right when the kids are young.
Here are a few ways in which you can raise the next generation with the right values of gender equality in the household, and leave no scope for gender stereotypes.
1) Equality in household chores:
The child should be shown that household chores are a responsibility of both the genders and not only of the woman. A child brought up watching both parents equally participate in household tasks like the laundry would grow up to an adult who is also a willing participant in the household responsibility, rather than a child who is used to his mother or sister doing all the household work.Children should be encouraged to share the household chores with their siblings and parents irrespective of their genders.
2)Talking to kids about what they see on TV or other media:
We should check what the kids are watching and tell them what is wrong and right in the way both genders are represented on TV. They should be made aware of what is acceptable behaviour and what is gender stereotyping or discrimination. Often we see that programs we watch on television objectify women or put them in the stereotypical roles of the perfect Wife,daughter in law etc. We have to teach our children that people are more than what is portrayed on TV.
3) Stop using gender as an excuse for behaviour: We often hear the phrases "Boys will be boys!" or "Boys don't cry" or "Its a girl thing!". We often use these to justify certain characteristics or behavior by both genders. We have to stop doing that. Being of a certain gender doesnot have anything to do with the behavior. It differs from person to person.
4) They should be introduced to influential people of both genders:
We often see that young boys and girls seem to select role models of their own We would find boys saying they want to grow up to become like Sachin Tendulkar or Shahrukh Khan and girls often say they want to become like Mother Teresa or Sunita Williams.
But they should be introduced to different influential people from all facets of careers and lifestyles, so one day a boy could say that he wants to be a human like 'Mother Teresa' or a girl can say that she wants to be a famous businesswoman of the likes of Ambani.
While we should strive to ingrain the seed of gender equality in children right from the beginning, we must accept that there will be some things that are inherently different in girls and boys : Raising kids in a gender neutral environment does not mean that boys should be persuaded to participate in so-called "girly activities" or girls be persuaded to be a "tomboy" . These terms right here: 'girlish' and 'tomboy' tell us how gender roles have been defined in the society right from the beginning. These words have been in the dictionary right since the time humans decided that the one wearing the pants is the man and the other is a woman. Any girl differing from these norms of feminine behavior was termed a tomboy or boy who did not conform to the societies standards of masculine behavior was termed to be girlish.
It is absolutely OK to let boys have their thing and girls have theirs because it will not detract from gender equality. Gender neutrality is more about having the same opportunities, same responsibilities and same respect in society irrespective of the physical differences.
What is important is that they know that when it is time to choose what they want to be and how they want to live their life, they should not have any regrets on lost opportunities due to their gender or because they feel they are superior or inferior in any way. Let's teach the future generation that striving for Equality is not just among races/castes or statuses that are made by humans but also important for both the genders and a bright future.
I am taking part in the #ShareTheLoad Challenge with Ariel and Akshara at BlogAdda.
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